O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
