you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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