Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
