Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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