If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Ladies don't puke and tell
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
