I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize