I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
