I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
