yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
