they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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