I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
