I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
