her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
