I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
it glows. i had to have it.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I believe in your delicious
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
