Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
