Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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