Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
