Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
