I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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