just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
