Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
