Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
