That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
