Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
