i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
