doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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