Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
