yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize