Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Randomize