remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
