theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
