Fuck appropriateness.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
