maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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