If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
