it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
