Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
