I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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