the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
