is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Randomize
