guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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