on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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