Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize