babies were throwing up all over the place
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
What a dumb baby whore.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
