im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize