Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
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we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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