Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
