Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
