he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
