It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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