Define "chronic" masturbator.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
