I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
