I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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