even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
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Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
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She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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