We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
