And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
