I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I will be naked everywhere
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
