how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She bit a glass in half.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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