I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize