and you said cock pushups were impossible
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
