hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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