I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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