Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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