Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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