No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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