so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
