I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize