apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
