just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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