so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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