I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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