I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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